You Have to Be Carefully Taught

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JjiaRJqKIU

This song from Rogers and Hammerstein's SOUTH PACIFIC deals with racism, but it applies to actually anything passed on from generation to generation.  The Bible tells us that the sins of the fathers pass on to their children.  I think that's true, if you consider the cycles of poverty, abuse, lack of self responsibility etc.

But it also means you can pass on good things too.  Respect for teachers/education, hard work and an understanding that you are responsible for your health and happiness are some things that are passed on.

Taking care of family members has been something that has passed on in my family.  My parents took in Mom's siblings two times when needed.  One was for a short time and Aunt Clara went on and became a contemplative nun in the mountains of New mexico.  Uncle Booster came to live with Mom and Dad for the last couple of decades of his life.

What this meant to our family is that for some of us, we could not count having our own bedrooms much less a bed to call our own.  For the last seven years my brother lived at home, he slept on the couch.  I don't remember him ever complaining about it.  For awhile, my younger sister slept on a pallet in the foyer.   I never heard her complain either.  (This was during her  "Little House" years and I think she pretended she was living on the prairie in a small cabin.)

What we learned from this is that taking care of people can cause serious disruptions to the family. Our parental units' tiny fuses became miniscule

. We learned to time bathroom visits on a microsecond basis.  What we also learned was that my parents would have done it over and over if a need arose.

When my father could no longer live by himself after Mom died, and he was disabled due to cancer, my siblings took turns coming  every  weekend to give me a break; even my Florida sister who had (and is still along with her husband) managing the care for their multi-disabled son.  I spent most of that down time sleeping.

 In all the years that my parents lived near us and were frail medically, my siblings never  second guessed how I was handling them.  I tell this to people how well we all worked together and then  I hear others' horror stories.

Now these same siblings of mine are taking time out of their busy lives to come visit us, now that we can no longer visit them.

 I am thankful that we were carefully taught.