I'm waiting to hear from Sirius Black soon.
Saturday, March 15, 2014
Whispers
Our bathroom renovation has begun and there is plastic sheeting that protects our bedroom from the dust that such work entails. This sheeting runs from wall to wall and whenever I walk by it, my air wake creates a gentle movement that has reminds me of the veil in HARRY POTTER and THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX wherein the people who have gone on before, whisper as the living walk by.
I'm waiting to hear from Sirius Black soon.
I'm waiting to hear from Sirius Black soon.
Friday, March 14, 2014
All Pretense Aside
THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER is the third of CS Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia series. In it, one of the characters, the aptly named, Eustace Scrubb, is a vile little fellow. In Narnia, he becomes a dragon which is not all that great and with the help of Aslan, he endures a painful shedding of the tough scales to reveal the wonderful boy he really is at heart.
CS Lewis expands on that theme of shedding our mortal coils of pride, greed etc. in his book for adults, THE GREAT DIVORCE. Everyone has to face their behaviors or human side and cast them aside in order to reach heaven. If your possessions and personality give you comfort on earth, it's hard to let go. Some can't do it and remain locked forever in a grey purgatory.
I've been pretty lucky. I've taken care of three people as they learned to cast off their mortal coils. My parents and now, my husband. I've watched them come to an understanding that they have a stale date, as yet unknown for Pat, but it is there. And I've REALLY been lucky because in all cases, it's been an easy road for me.
My father was, like many people, a complicated man with many layers and for so many years, not that easy to get along with. When he got his stale date on the anniversary of Mom's death, his shedding of his dragon hide began immediately. His layers peeled away as he sat on our front porch, prayed and thought through his life. He went through his self examination with a fine tooth comb that only a Lutheran PK could manipulate and at the end, revealed himself to be the sweet man we all suspected was there. It made my job easier as his caregiver because he appreciated everything that was done for him, and although there may have been some regrets he couldn't get to that place while he was still able bodied, I think we were all grateful we got there at last.
In the God Squad column this week, Rabbi Marc Gellman addresses this issue of what to do when your caregiveree isn't that wonderful. I hope I'm like Dad when it's my turn to be on the receiving end and not that lady.
http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/religion/the-god-squad/25506609.html?articleURL=http://rss.tmsfeatures.com/websvc-bin/rss_story_read.cgi?resid=201403111830TMS_____GOD_SQUD_ctngs-a_20140313
CS Lewis expands on that theme of shedding our mortal coils of pride, greed etc. in his book for adults, THE GREAT DIVORCE. Everyone has to face their behaviors or human side and cast them aside in order to reach heaven. If your possessions and personality give you comfort on earth, it's hard to let go. Some can't do it and remain locked forever in a grey purgatory.
I've been pretty lucky. I've taken care of three people as they learned to cast off their mortal coils. My parents and now, my husband. I've watched them come to an understanding that they have a stale date, as yet unknown for Pat, but it is there. And I've REALLY been lucky because in all cases, it's been an easy road for me.
My father was, like many people, a complicated man with many layers and for so many years, not that easy to get along with. When he got his stale date on the anniversary of Mom's death, his shedding of his dragon hide began immediately. His layers peeled away as he sat on our front porch, prayed and thought through his life. He went through his self examination with a fine tooth comb that only a Lutheran PK could manipulate and at the end, revealed himself to be the sweet man we all suspected was there. It made my job easier as his caregiver because he appreciated everything that was done for him, and although there may have been some regrets he couldn't get to that place while he was still able bodied, I think we were all grateful we got there at last.
In the God Squad column this week, Rabbi Marc Gellman addresses this issue of what to do when your caregiveree isn't that wonderful. I hope I'm like Dad when it's my turn to be on the receiving end and not that lady.
http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/religion/the-god-squad/25506609.html?articleURL=http://rss.tmsfeatures.com/websvc-bin/rss_story_read.cgi?resid=201403111830TMS_____GOD_SQUD_ctngs-a_20140313
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
We Shall Return
The last big trip we made before we got the diagnosis was to my birthplace, Memphis, with the family newlyweds.We stayed at the Peabody, had cocktails in the lobby while watching the ducks parade around and then suppered at the Rendezvous just down the alley, past the dumpster. We almost didn't make it though. It was around this time of year and a spring storm chose the Memphis airport to be the tunnel for the front that was coming through. It was the rockiest landing Pat said he'd ever endured and with his business international travels, he'd made quite a few landings in suspect weather. We looked at each other and said, "Well, if this is it, then we're good to go." and held hands. I felt a little sorry for our daughter and her new husband, because they were going to miss out on the marriage rollercoaster, but it turns out, they didn't even miss out on the ribs.
Before Pat got so sick, I used to pray he would just get happy; be content with his life and not work so hard that he could barely move at night. I didn't want him to get ALS, but after the initial horror of it all, he has become happy; happier than I have ever known him. He enjoys sitting around with me, watching the grands parade through the house and planning the next book he's going to read.
There was an article in the paper awhile back about a woman who after being diagnosed with a terminal illness (I'm thinking it was stage 4 cancer) became happy for the first time in her life. The woman in the article asks, "why did I have to be threatened with death to become happy?" It turns out this is not an unusual phenomenon.
For those of us familiar with the TV show HOUSE, you may remember the episode where the crippled curmudgeon tries to expose the happy cancer kids for the frauds they are. Of course, it didn't work. They really were happy. Not happy to be sick, but happy children who happened to have that horrible sword dangling overhead.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the day that we who go to liturgical churches are smeared with oily palm ashes and reminded that "we are dust and to dust we will return." I'm wondering if this liturgy about death is really to get our tushies in gear and to make us remember to live.
Here's a link to the liturgy we will use today.
http://www.liturgies.net/Lent/AshWednesday.htm
http://www.liturgies.net/Lent/AshWednesday.htm
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Before Pat got so sick, I used to pray he would just get happy; be content with his life and not work so hard that he could barely move at night. I didn't want him to get ALS, but after the initial horror of it all, he has become happy; happier than I have ever known him. He enjoys sitting around with me, watching the grands parade through the house and planning the next book he's going to read.
There was an article in the paper awhile back about a woman who after being diagnosed with a terminal illness (I'm thinking it was stage 4 cancer) became happy for the first time in her life. The woman in the article asks, "why did I have to be threatened with death to become happy?" It turns out this is not an unusual phenomenon.
For those of us familiar with the TV show HOUSE, you may remember the episode where the crippled curmudgeon tries to expose the happy cancer kids for the frauds they are. Of course, it didn't work. They really were happy. Not happy to be sick, but happy children who happened to have that horrible sword dangling overhead.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the day that we who go to liturgical churches are smeared with oily palm ashes and reminded that "we are dust and to dust we will return." I'm wondering if this liturgy about death is really to get our tushies in gear and to make us remember to live.
Here's a link to the liturgy we will use today.
http://www.liturgies.net/Lent/AshWednesday.htm
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