CS Lewis expands on that theme of shedding our mortal coils of pride, greed etc. in his book for adults, THE GREAT DIVORCE. Everyone has to face their behaviors or human side and cast them aside in order to reach heaven. If your possessions and personality give you comfort on earth, it's hard to let go. Some can't do it and remain locked forever in a grey purgatory.
I've been pretty lucky. I've taken care of three people as they learned to cast off their mortal coils. My parents and now, my husband. I've watched them come to an understanding that they have a stale date, as yet unknown for Pat, but it is there. And I've REALLY been lucky because in all cases, it's been an easy road for me.
My father was, like many people, a complicated man with many layers and for so many years, not that easy to get along with. When he got his stale date on the anniversary of Mom's death, his shedding of his dragon hide began immediately. His layers peeled away as he sat on our front porch, prayed and thought through his life. He went through his self examination with a fine tooth comb that only a Lutheran PK could manipulate and at the end, revealed himself to be the sweet man we all suspected was there. It made my job easier as his caregiver because he appreciated everything that was done for him, and although there may have been some regrets he couldn't get to that place while he was still able bodied, I think we were all grateful we got there at last.
In the God Squad column this week, Rabbi Marc Gellman addresses this issue of what to do when your caregiveree isn't that wonderful. I hope I'm like Dad when it's my turn to be on the receiving end and not that lady.
http://www.tmsfeatures.com/columns/religion/the-god-squad/25506609.html?articleURL=http://rss.tmsfeatures.com/websvc-bin/rss_story_read.cgi?resid=201403111830TMS_____GOD_SQUD_ctngs-a_20140313
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