You are my witnesses

Pat has a difficult time shaving bits of his neck now and I have to help. He's always telling me to really bear down on the razor.  If for some reason, he succumbs to death by my nicking his jugular vein or carotid artery, I will need to have this on record before I become a guest of the state....

http://www.medicaldaily.com/nj-mans-17-inch-beard-wins-world-beard-championship-competition-kicks-no-shave-november-cancer