Baby it's cold outside

I remember Dad on Saturday evenings, fiddling with the dials on the radio trying to catch the Ole Miss football games.  It was a long way from Oxford, Mississippi to Northeast Ohio and he was desperate to hear something.  It was also a long way from then to the 500 ESPN channels we have now.  He would alternately scream SHIT or HOTTY TODDY and looking back, I don't know if it was a commentary on the fragility of the signal or our team.  This was between the golden years  of Charlie Conerly and the second coming embodied in Archie Manning. (It was probably around the time that Charlie was making money as the first Marlboro Man. He was a handsome devil and looked good on a horse.)

I now feel Dad's pain.  One of the unexpected consequences of this ALS rodeo is the daily fight we have in the van.  I have never understood the heating/defrosting systems in automobiles. Its why I moved south for goodness sake so that I wouldn't have to mess with the damn things. For defrosting the windshield, I find my VISA card works just fine and I have always kept gloves handy so I wouldn't have to worry about about anything else. I have no problem with turning on the AC in the summer. You just hit a button and it's on.

Unfortuately, one ALS sympton is an out of whack metabolism. Pat runs hot and cold and it is NEVER conveniently. Rather than cold in the summer and hot in the winter, it's t'other way around.  So whenever we've started driving down the road in the van, he's having to tell me how to operate the heating system.  I end up mad because he's hard to understand now and he's frustrated and it quickly becomes one of those "Can this marriage be saved?" issues. Finally, I understood the problem.  

Somewhere near The Company Shop on a recent trip to church I screamed,

"I can't do analog! I'm a digital sort of person." 

 It made me feel better, even if Pat didn't get any warmer from that thought. 

There aren't enough words in the world or My Oscar Speech. You can cue the music anytime it gets boring.

Today I am making a feeble attempt to thank people who have been such good friends, neighbors and  family to us over this past 18 months.

First of all, I am very thankful that our daughters live nearby and come to help, visit and bring their famlies. I'm also very glad that they have taken over the turkey duty. (and here I have to thank the sons in laws too, because they are cookers also and do alot of the holiday feasts.)

We won't get to eat that turkey because it was consumed in Okinawa 12 hours ago.  Maybe next year we'll get a sample.

And I must include in these thanks, our daughters' in-laws. They have treated us as family all along.  Whenever we've had to run to the hospital, whether those scary visits at the ER or the happy ones at the Birthing Unit, our family nurse was there popping in to visit.  She also has a very active prayer group and when I've needed the big guns, she hasn't failed me.  And her daughter gives the most marvelous facials!

Our Virginia extended family has been so wonderful with cards,  notes, emergency babysitting when I couldn't do  and other forms of support we could never thank them enough. 

 Closer to home, we have the local in-laws who have been so very good to us and ours with notes, prayers and help.  

I think we're lucky that our daughters all married sons from fine families.  

The other family that must be mentioned is our church family.  The altar guild brings us beautiful flowers when we can't make it to see them in person. St. Martha's Guild   provided a prayer shawl for Pat that does much more than keep his knobby knees warm at night.  A couple of men came to paint the shed. One family has sent Pat a card every week since his diagnosis. Another lovely woman brings us flan because she knows how difficult it is for Pat to swallow. Others have left bottles of wine, delicious little cheese snaps,  cheese cakes and other delicacies.  I can't forget the friend who seeing my proposed menu on Facebook one night, brought me the ingredients and stayed to visit.  Her husband later brought a play pen for Dougielou.  One family in particular will come over and bring a portion of whatever they're eating and they have provided many a wonderful meal when I was too pooped to prepare.  They have provided smoked turkeys and colorful mums, as well as an offer to carve the pumpkin.  We love the visits, casual drive-bys as well as the drop ins for cocktail hour. Our church secretary will check on us every week to see if she needs to open the door for the healing service.  Our church family will not allow us to be forgotten which can happen with this sort of illness. 

Our non-church friends are wonderful also. Some take us out for Mexican food and another climbed up on the roof and finished painting the windows that Pat could no longer reach. One friend will drop by on her way home from work at Elon U. Just to check on how we're doing.

Faraway family have made the trip. Pat's parents hopped on a plane, and despite his mother forgetting her makeup ( a tragedy for a former Ole Miss Cutie), we had a great time.  His brother from North Dakota and sister from Alabama drove up for a quick visit and we had a lovely time eating chicken pie from our church under the carport.

My cousin, from Michigan who is a speech pathologist, gives me good advice on new technology available to assist Pat's speech. Thanks to her and Mr. Zuckerman for providing a path to reconnect after all these years.

My own siblings have all made the trek at least twice and I think the thing that I appreciate most is that I know they would do it even if I weren't here. They are that attached to Pat, for himself.  

And of course, I cannot forget the grandchildren.  One visit from any or all of them blows all thought of illness out of our heads.  They are wonderfully insane and oftentimes bad, but always beloved.

So you see, there aren't enough words to express thanks for all the kindnesses.  In this way I do think ALS has been a blessing.  All that goodness is out there.  I wonder if sometime, we get these sort of  slaps in the face to appreciate them.  Don't wait for that please.